I went to
church again today Looking for You.
I bent my head
and tried to pray And sing too
In vain. I
nowhere see or hear Or feel or taste You.
may not be clear This is true.
stuttered past my ears.
The young man
spoke of sex and God
laughed and shook her flowers
And gave them
to the children.
away she laughed, away, and God will love You
didn't say that but did imply...)
one's lost its head she laughed,
But it's all
And one stiff
little girl poked me in the back
drooping red sunflower with a black heart & Crumpled purple
Now You were
there with her, she saw You,
And You were
speaking to the boy about the Song of Songs,
breasts and bellies tumbled from his lips, Your lips, I guess,
danced down the aisles,
hydrangea and one blighted rose.
(Adam gave the
flowers each a name, You gave him Permission)
Did You see me leave? Breathe
hard amongst the Plastic roses, return to sing Your praises?
, There was a woodwind quintet that played with us. And
a tentative organ.
One more prayer,
One more hymn about flowers and thighs,
Then out into the sunshine, and home.
In the afternoon I went into my garden.
Dug stones, ripped sod, spread compost.
Dirt under my torn nails, salt in mouth.
Rescued strangling peonies from beneath a fir tree, Clipped them
severely and gave them new beds. Ran cold water over their raw roots.
Now it's dark. Outside they stir in pain
Perhaps in sorrow. Perhaps the compost soothes Them, the memory of
I moved them for their own good, I say
They'll live and flourish.
Maybe it's true. I hope it is.
I've meddled a lot. Mostly for glory.
But not Yours. Because I can't find You.
K. P. September 3, 2000